Friday, July 16, 2010

Ideal Modus Operandi

Today, I'm not angry or pissed off. Today I don't write to vent ( or maybe i do ) and today i definitely won't be sarcastic ( pronounced sarcostique by a friend of mine). I won't bullet through this one, this piece would deserve my time. It will be by far the sanest piece of writing i ever write and it definitely won't be a figment of my imagination cause it did happen and i was witness/actor in it.

My brother and I were going to drop him off to a friend's place he was Lahore bound. As the car wheels rolled and my brother insisted on singing Soul sister out loud and being behind the wheel, our path was stumbled upon by a blind man standing on the edge of the road. Our collective first thoughts were he wants to cross the road and we should help him. The car was brought to a halt i stepped out of the car and walked up to the old blind man, I told him its fine I'll cross the road with him and it'll be okay. Only to have my assumption shattered,he asked me where i was headed as he had to go to some GCC Lab in F-7. Call me any less human or make me insensitive my reaction was oh no he's asking for a lift and given the situation these days i was slightly uneasy. I immediately hated myself for being uneasy and i pushed the thought away, the poor guy was blind he needed help and what an insensitive fuck i was being. I told him, give me a minute let me ask my brother where we are headed, because i was pretty sure we were headed in the opposite direction. I told my brother he wanted a lift to F-7 and asked him where we were headed. He simply said it doesn't matter jack where we are going, bring the man to the car.

As guided the old man to the car, he rained down every possible good wish on me and my family. He kept doing it in the car till my brother insisted that he please stop and it was enough and we were actually going that way (which i later found out was a massive lie) and it wasn't a bother for us. The old man said a brilliant line which i must write down before i forget it. He thanked God for making him blind because people like us were his eyes, we made up for the lack of sight.

The search for the relatively unknown GCC labs began, just to keep the conversation happening the blind man kept on asking things from us. Upon reaching Jinnah Super and after asking a few people we were told that GCC labs doesn't exist in F-7 and no one had a clue. The blind man insisted that we stopped the car and went to some shop and asked. Though this made both of us very uneasy, we started to feel like something was out of place and didn't make sense. After inquiring from several shop i got the same answer from everyone, the shop doesn't exist sir jee. I rushed back to the car, hoping to find it in one piece, hoping to find my brother alive etc. A lot of things were rushing through my head as i ran back to the car, though to much relief everything was the way i left it. Fuck my untrustworthy-ness my mind screamed, i felt sick from the inside, disgusted by myself. I sat in the car and told the old man that the labs didn't exist and if he had a paper from the labs or anything it'll help massively. To our amazement/surprise he pulled out a report collection slip from his pocket. I took the slip from him i found out two things that massively disturbed me. Firstly, the labs were in F-10, far off from F-7, and secondly the test happened in Sargodha. What was this man doing here with no money and no one to take care of him ?

The journey to F-10 started, i kept of trying to push my thoughts to a side but i couldn't despite all my concerted efforts, i came back to the same questions. What was this man doing here? What was his name ( yes we hadn't bothered asking his name) ? Whose report was this? How did he get here ? With no money and no one to take care of him how did he expect to reach his destination? Its like he was reading my thoughts, he spoke of how despite no money etc he had faith that he'll reach because of his Namaz and his kind Lord. Wow, talk about having blind faith in your Lord was my first thought, maybe he knew about more things than me or maybe he was more religious than i was ( i am no bench mark though in all honesty) were the following thoughts. As we traveled to F-10 he kept on trying to give us road directions, which made me believe that he's been here before. This jigsaw was missing quite a few pieces and it didn't make sense at all.

As we neared our destination, i decided to tell my thoughts to fuck off, which after quite a struggle they did. Upon reaching the labs, I guided the man to the diagnostic center. At the entrance he told me i should go as he can take it from here and we've been kind enough and my brother was getting late (which was becoming kinda obviously from the numerous calls he was getting during our drive). I insisted that it was not a big deal and I'll help him out. Both of us were stopped at the entrance by a security guard who asked us may i add rudely that what we wanted. The old man told him that he wanted to collect a report and told him the story of us giving him a lift etc. He said that he had told me to go as he can handle it himself from here. He was replied by a very mocking smile and tone from the guard who said how will he hand it from here he'll fall down the stairs and shit. I so wanted to wipe that mocking smile of the guard's face. He ticked me off to a level I've not been ticked off in many years. But i somehow decided not to create a scene. I asked him where we had to go and after receiving his short answer i got to work. I was soon joined by my brother at the collecting point of the lab. The old man asked us to leave as we were getting late. He insisted for a long time, and after a long talk my brother threw in the towel. As we bade him farewell, I was left with just two thoughts, 1.Fuck this world for the lack of time and the busy schedules we have and 2.How much I hate this world. I inquired my brother as to why he threw in the towel and didn't drop the man back home ? He replied in something that sums up this entire piece of bull shit. He said in an ideal world he would have waited for the guy to pick up his report and then dropped him off. But this world isn't the ideal world its a bitch. He was already very late as people were waiting for him so that they could leave for some wedding in Lahore and he wasn't very comfortable with the idea of just me in the car with the old man. He said call me any less human or call me cruel but this world has shaped us in a way where we are like this, insecure.

Today I end on a note, which a usual emo 16 year old would end any written piece. Fuck this world, fuck our lives and fuck this whole messed up system.

1 comment:

  1. It's a shame how insecure our experiances in this world have made us, that even a genuine opportunity to make a difference in someone's life becomes a source of uneasiness and suspicion. We have now been conditioned to believe that they are all out to get us and anyone with a trusting attitude is deemed naive and simple.