Wednesday, June 30, 2010


Mood fixer. Trouble maker. Reliable.Dependent, logical and reliable described like that by many others. He surely wasn't rational when it came to his own life. Slacked off a majority of his life, believed in putting his enjoyment before everything else. Wasted talent was the line most often repeated to him. Couldn't give a flying fuck about it. He was what he was and he was his own man. Nothing could change him. Numerous came and tried and numerous failed.

But I'm sure he had a goal in life or some desire ? Whenever asked he stated 'to make people happy and to bring a smile on their faces.' But this line was always repeated with a strain on his face and only if you paid proper attention to the minute details you'd realize he was hiding some details, something that he had buried long ago. Maybe he truly had started to believe his own fabrications.

Friday, June 25, 2010

Highway to Cool?

He was conman. Smoked a pack a day. Thought of lies every day. For what? For acceptance, for coolness and for the kick he got from fucking people's mind. In a few words he could be described most appropriately as a mind fucker (as sick as that might sound). Till this day I'll never understand what fun was there in fooling people who trusted you? You, me and everyone around him were outdone by him at least once. I guess that fact single handedly sets him apart from us, knowing him he'll get this inscribed on his tombstone ' Outdid all of you fags, Best Regards The Coolest Cat in Town'.

What was/is cool? That is something that has always troubled me, something that I haven't been able to conclude. Is walking with a slack cool? Baggy Pants are they the in thing? I surely must listen to rap and dance music, everyone does it, and it has to be cool? Is talking in english the coolest thing to do? Or should it be what meesha shafi does, sing in punjabi without getting a single word. I guess punjabi is cool then (considering Imran Khan is the hottest thing in music industry for majority of the nation bar the only Anglish pliss sort). Hey wait a minute then I guess my mom and dad are really cool? They converse with each other in punjabi. Nice!! ( Runs to facebook status - update- happy father’s day to the coolest dad in the world- yay now everyone knows i know which global day it was maybe I should write a witty line with it and my friends will like it and I'll be cool ?). While growing up what puzzled me was how people shifted personalities faster than chameleons could change colors. To attain what glorification? In an attempt to be cool? (Hey wasn't that a will smith movie?) People would do the impossible just to be accepted by people or to be part of some shitty/snobby group. I swear I knew of and still know of people (despite you know growing up and being out of that phase) who'd hang upside down on a cactus tree to be proclaimed the coolest cats.

Maybe I should roll a joint? Smoke it up? Act a little crazy. That’s a sure deal to coolness, because nothing spells C.O.O.L like them good ol drugs. Or you know what works like a charm saying( oh sorry and believing and giving some logic for it. For added effect throw a few big names in the conversation ) I’m an atheist and getting disgusted by any conversation remotely religious, sure to get you in with the cool crowd. And remember keep on reiterating for added effect, you’ll be amongst the enlightened few, people will look up to you won’t they ? Or I should be one of those party people, dance drink drugs? A killer combo, no?

The question arises who sets cool? Me? You? MTV? If it was MTV then being black would be cool. Yes damn it!! I'm almost as cool as 50 cent. Finally some recognition for the skin color in Pakistan. Dressing awkwardly and coming up with stupid lines that if you read them make no sense at all or acting trashy must definitely be cool. Peas, Keisha (is there a dollar sign somewhere) Gaga no offense to you guys.

In my head, the word cool would mean the physical cool e.g the weather is cool or a cool wind blew. That kinda thing. The phenomenon of being 'cool' kinda doesn't exist for me. It never did. It’s too much for my rebellious soul. Coolness is always affiliated with a fad and I never follow fads. At least I know I can listen to the music that I want to, wear what I want to and speak in the language I want to without thinking twice. But you, I’m not so sure about . I’ll end this one with a Christian ‘Bobo’ Vieri quote.

"I'm more of a man than all of you put together,I can walk down the street with my head held high. I can look at myself in the mirror, but you cannot."_ Christian Vieri

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Football Loving Pakistan

I love how our country and its herd operates. Come the World Cup all of us turn into Footballing coaches, pundits, analysts and worse is how everyone starts playing the greatest sport to grace this planet.

Don't get me wrong. I love football and the World Cup even. I remember playing football since i was a little kid, I grew up playing football unlike most the kids around me for whom cricket was life. I kinda disliked playing cricket ( Though i still follow the Team Boom Boom religiously). It was for me a little less interactive more like a two man game ( bowler and batsmen). Being a hyper kid i needed a sport with more physical exertion, Football was my calling.

What my issue with this whole situation is, next time i want to hear something about some team or anything like that I'll ask you jackass. Don't come to me after just watching the Kick and Run league popularly known as the Barclay's Premier League and telling me England will fucking win the cup. Fuck off yea! That's my first thought you don't know half the shit you think you know. Fucking Pretender. I swear i am sick and tired of the local pundits and analysts. Next time any team needs a coach please scour Pakistan we have an abundance of coaches here who know 'apparently' better than professional coaches who've been in the game for 30 years. Please its my request to you, don't talk to me about football and the next one of you who says England will win the Cup, I'll fracture your face i swear i will...

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

The Man is Back in Town

You come back where you have grown up, known every tiny little corner of the area. The place you call home or called home. Sadly, the only thing consistent was me and me still hanging on to this idea of home and of knowing the place. Oh time i fucking hate you, you destroy everything and apparently you heal everything ( which i am yet to encounter).

Here I am sitting writing this junk. Shouldn't i rather be out with my boys ? Making Pakistan proud? On my car ? Hanging out from its window ? That seems like fun everyone does it, should i conform to societal 'norms' be a sheep like most of us. Sadly i think i am a sheep i became one when i logged into, created one of these. I prided myself for being a rebel not doing what others did. It always irked it still does. I hate myself as i type more, but i love writing things like these, i always did i always will. I guess the hating part is a core process of doing anything creative.

I've never done anything creative in which i actually liked the end product. I've hated most of my finished pieces, it's the unfinished ones that i pride about. They give me more room to work with, there is still work to be done on them. Once completed I'll go over them once and after that i just plain hate them.

I'm sick of myself now. I quit (lets hope permanently) With words from someone who i grew up listening.

"For he still smiles, and hes still strong
Nothings changed, but the surrounding bullshit
That has grown"__ Eddie Vedder