Sunday, December 18, 2011

Small steps

Life should be a sine curve, not straight and boring, it should have it highs and lows makes it more worth living, he proclaimed while absently playing with his unkempt locks. Those around him gave the unkempt boy a look of utter be wilderness. You just did not say that, the pompous girl said while wagging her around. Hey listen, i don't want a boring life ever, but if that's what you want ... I guess it sucks to be you,he shrugged and ran a hand through them shining locks and walked away. What a weirdo, she bitched about him as he walked towards the football field. But he's so yummy, added the girl with cheeks that you just wanted to reach out and all. Puffy you slut get over him, he's not interested in anyone but himself. Argh, you guys I'm just saying ....

A genuine smile remained on his face as he flipped the pages of the album - it was only yesterday he thought. The hair flick was still the same, the locks gone replaced by messy spikes, it looked neat they said, he couldn't be least bothered. Puffy cheeks, she was just cute on the exterior or maybe he was an asshole. Like always he settled for the latter bit. Quick glance in the mirror, a smirk to himself - somethings never changed. Egotistical, self centered and self admiring asshole, perfect he thought maybe he should keep that as his about me on facebook. Had a small laugh at his own expense. Flicked the page.

Come here boy !! The number 16 jogged over to the sideline. Put it in the god damn zone, how difficult is it ? Let your wingers do the rest. The team is losing because of you, pick up your game and stop being so selfish. Like a mirror shattering, his confidence was reduced to finger cutting dust. Anger fueled him on, the knee aches and pains were forgotten. What followed was a blur, the man in a beard and 3 quarters weaved passed two of his team mates, his feet moving at the speed of light. Slow down, Observe, slowdown, observe. He squared him up, wait wait wait - slide. The man in the beard flew into the air, the numero 16 got up and charged to the other side with the ball at his feet, skipped past one, skipped past another he had a clear sight of the goal - switched the ball to his favored foot and before he could pull the trig someone pulled the ground from beneath his feet and tumbling he went to the ground. He got up dusted himself - the coach was barking some orders screaming delta freekick delta freekick, he picked the ball and told the captain its mine. Delta free kickkkkk! He turned to the coach and nodded and chuckled on the inside, like I would fucking know what delta is. 2 short steps, a swing of the boot, a poetic thud of the football connecting to human flesh and watch it curl into the net - he ran to his bench and slide in front of his coach and put his index finger on his lips.

The only private university to qualify for HEC, the voice of the announcer still remained fresh in his ears. His family on the field - brothers in arms willing to take a hit for him. Camaraderie beyond words. As they sipped on hot chocolate in a little cafe in their home town discussing their future, he and his main partner in crime on the field - number 8 - would fondly recall the glory days. They talked about everything and yet nothing, I guess it was a normal conversation between two men nay young adults. Life walked by them as they had the most productive hours of their last 6 months, the only movements involved their talking mouths and them lifting cups.

Both were doing their own thing now - corporate lifestyle and business environment was not conducive to being in contact but they were still each other's boy and nothing could change that. The train of thought was derailed by the elder and huger version of him - bearded face, heart of gold - hey runt he smiled crookedly as the other turned up from memories to face him. We are waiting for you to start dinner. The runt smiled and nodded, will be there in a minute. The huge him left, he tucked the album of memories - flicked his non existent locks, stepped in to flip flops and stepped out of his room. Trust us, the poster with two hammers screamed from the corner, as he turned off light. Trust us - the line he heard his most, disappointments most of them. The light escaping through the crack of the door was blocked - the room turned dark and the poster was lost in the darkness.

Lazily he walked to the dinner table, smile on his face. Not the usual omnipresent mask , human smile, human flesh. The flip flops still grazed the ground, the slouch was no there anymore. Corporate lifestyle. The proud mama looked at him and was glad to have him in her presence. Her eyes reflected love and care, her youngest - all independent and all mature - sharp, non slouchy and proper. The love poured into a smile, baitho beta. His presence had put the chatter to an end. He nodded politely, so what was everyone saying - he tried to resume the chatter. They all smiled back - happy, happy to have him existing in his life.

So the doctor said give him an ultrascopic.. the eldest went off on a roll dropping technical terms like everyone got them. They all nodded at the right moments, showed shock appropriately and made angry faces when required. He sat in the corner - just smiling and observing. The man of the house was pointing in the direction of 3 things and saying that. The elder him was trying to make sure that everyone was getting everyone and he was not getting annoyed, a tough task. The ladies were chatting oblivious to everything. He sat in a corner, observing - he felt it even if for 5 seconds - even if it fluttered away. He knew if just for 5 seconds what happiness was.

Monday, December 5, 2011

God hates us all

- The title is borrowed but apt -

He gasped for air, out of breathe - nay, his throat was choking something inside was giving up. The refresh button was clicked in the hope that somehow what he saw was not the truth. Quick gaze around, all of the rest were immersed in studies - ah yes the mid terms were around the corner. The one in the glasses looked at him and smiled - he politely nodded, stopped himself from breaking the laptop - no violence he thought. Shut the lid of the laptop and walked out of the room and walked into the other. Handed it back to her, looked at her - told her goodbye - resisted the urge to break her. Left, broke himself.

The smoke circle emerged from his mouth and grew bigger, she put her finger through it and destroyed it. A smile crept on her face, not the cute one he remembered but a rather devious one. He was over thinking this, but he did wonder that if the smoke circle resembled a heart ? His thoughts shrugged, in any case he didn't possess one so all was good , right ? As she disappeared into oblivion, the sinister smile stayed back. Oh cruella devil, what a game you played.

Besides her, what else do he like ? the question bounced off humongous white pillars. Sire, upon investigation we found out he doesn't like wine, replied back a meek voice. A huge stick pointed to a human body - so let his liver be, boomed the voice. What does he like ? friends ? - yes sire - shift him into a foreign country, new people new area and shred his confidence while you do that. Hehehe, snickered the meek voiced one, good plan he thought. Sire, I also found out that he dances a lot and loves to play football, proudly proclaims it to be his life. Take it away from him, take his life - the stick fell on a knee. The cracking of the knee was followed by laughter.

The ball rolled perfectly for him, he kicked it with his entire force - something odd happened, he heard an audible snap. Feeling started disappearing from his leg, he gave it quick rub while hobbling . The corner of his eye focused on the gleaming trophy. Fuck this and be a man, his conscience screamed, he limped for 2 seconds and then soldiered on. The feeling in his leg returned like blood rushing back in a sore area - the shining gleaming trophy was won, the cost for the victory was still unknown.

The cute lady smiled and spoke, walk towards with your knees bent. He oddly smiled, a fake one. She knew that too, he was scared. With his knees bent, he took a first step - searing pain, collapsed on the floor. The doctor tried to help him up, he shoved her to the side, pussy his conscience screamed. He staggered back up, tried it again and fell again. Stop please she said, you can't. Handed him a paper and said this is your bible, worship it for the next 20 days. The rest of the conversation is a blur - all he remembers is MRI - Operation - Meniscus - Football never. It ended on a pathetic note, all i want is to be able to play lady. She politely smiled and patted his shoulder.

They fenced, he would keep losing his technique and leaving open gaps but he didn't know when to quit. The majestic one kept on wining and laughing. The other refused to give up - no one could take his life away, or if you could he wasn't going out without a fight.